I Need You Because I Love You
by NorthernGirl
Summary: Lorelai starts her new life post Partings, Luke tries to fix his. LL, and it will be happy.
1. Chapter 1

**I Need You Because I Love You**

**Disclaimer: **Not mine.

It was Monday, and Lorelai was walking through the town square, a woman on a mission. She idly noted the cold shoulders and glares of the other townsfolk, but those had been happening for two months now, and she was used to it. Besides, she knew that they didn't get it. Today was _Monday_. The first day of her new life. Lorelai Gilmore Is Born Again Again. From Rich Girl to Cool Mom to Content To Be Alone. Okay, she admitted that it was a working title, but the intent was there. She was tired of the way the town was treating her, tired of the looks that she got, tired of avoiding everybody, so she took a weekend off and decided to do something about it. The new creed, Content To Be Alone was born, along with it Rule Number 1 – Do Not Hide. Actually, so far there was only one rule, but she thought it was a good one. It was time to start fresh, start over _again_, and to not be ashamed. With that, she flung open the door, the bells ringing joyfully, heralding her arrival in the establishment that she hadn't set foot in slightly over two months. The diner became silent, all the patrons shocked that she would have the gall to show her face here. She marched up to the counter, sat down in her old stool, her mission a cup of coffee and maybe one of those doughnuts with all the pretty sprinkles. She was still contemplating her breakfast options when Luke appeared from the kitchen, wondering what was going on, as the diner was suspiciously quiet for the morning rush. His eyes widened as soon as he saw the familiar head bowed down at the counter. _What was _she_ doing here?_ Moving over to stand in front of her, he cleared his throat to get her attention. Her head snapped up, and the looked at each other for the first time in months. Surprisingly, (or not, depending on your opinion) for once Luke couldn't read her expression. Her voice jolted him out of his thoughts.

"Coffee, please."

"Anything else?"

"Doughnut."

Easily filling her order, he moved to wipe the countertop and clear dishes while she studiously applied herself to the coffee and doughnut, obviously ignoring all the hostile glares and silent treatment that she was on the receiving end of. As soon as she was done, she reached into her purse. Before she could pay however, he was back.

"More coffee?"

"No thanks." And with that she put the money beside her dishes, making sure not to leave his tip underneath the cup, hopped off the stool, and left. Proud of herself, she made her way to the Dragonfly, stopping only to drop off her purse in her office, and quickly made her way through the kitchen, offering a quick good morning to Sookie, before heading off to go talk to the two in her life that never judged her.

As soon as she had left the diner, a cacophony of noise erupted, all speculation as to why the scorned one had even set foot in the diner. Luke was oblivious to the town's gossip, even though his line of thought was similar to theirs. The Lorelai Gilmore _he_ knew never did anything 'just because'. There was always a reason, a method behind the madness if you will; just sometimes the method wasn't clear until two crazy things later. But it had been too long; he had missed her too much to wait for two more crazy things. Yelling at Caesar that he was out, he left the diner and quickly made his way to the Dragonfly. When he got there, he bypassed Michel, and asked Sookie where she went. Sookie just pointed out the door, confused by these events on what should have been a mundane Monday.

Sookie, for her part, was busy directing the morning breakfast, multitasking as always when Lorelai had breezed through. She had been worried about Lorelai these past two months, waiting for her friend to break, or give some sort of indication that she was in trouble. But other than the expected long weekend off after That Night, Lorelai to all appearances seemed to be fine. Not as happy for sure, and even restless, but not the blubbering mess that Sookie thought she would be. And today, she seemed, well, almost _happy_. Something had happened and with the unexpected appearance of Luke a short time later that caused her to slice her finger, again, Sookie knew that something was going down in the stables (dirty!). Grabbing a hot pink band-aid on the way out, she too rushed to the stables, to be privy to the upcoming talk, to lend support where needed. She was stopped just inside the door, when Luke grabbed her arm and motioned for her to be quiet. Following his gaze, she watched Lorelai greet the two horses that she loved so much, talking all the while.

Lorelai had just exited the tack room, changed into horse appropriate clothes and boots, and grabbed a curry comb on her way out. Oblivious to the human company, she approached the two horses, chattering all the while.

"Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been here in a while. How've you been? Same old, same old, huh? What Cletus? Yes I do have an apple here for you guys – really you should be quiet about that, Sookie will get on my case about being pregnant again if she finds out. So really, nothing new? Want me to go first? Are you sure? Cause it's a long story. Okay." The two observers were surprised to see the horses relax through this comforting prattle, and even more surprised when Lorelai started to brush Cletus and tell the horses secrets about herself that they thought Lorelai wouldn't even let herself _think_ about, let alone vocalize. They too settled in, making sure Lorelai couldn't see them.

"I guess it all started way back in November. Remember when Rory came back? I was _so_ happy. I mean, I finally had it. The whole package – my daughter had figured out on her own what she wanted, and Luke and I could finally get married. I was ready, I was happy. Around then, I started to notice that Luke was acting weird. More silent than usual. I asked him if anything was wrong a couple of times, but he just shrugged it off and said it was nothing. I didn't want to push, because remember what happened last time I pushed?" Cletus sneezed, and Desdemona pawed at the ground anxiously.

"Bless you. Yea, I know guys. So I left it. I planned the prefect wedding, really it planned itself, and it snowed when I found the dress, and I thought it was all a sign. Then, one day I walk into the diner, and find out from this girl why Luke had been acting all weird. He has a daughter – April. He has a daughter and didn't even tell me! I learned from her. Two months he didn't tell me! And here I was, telling him about every little conversation with Christopher because I knew it bugged him, and after all that 'no secrets' stuff, I knew it was important! I mean, I know he's not much of a words guy, but you'd think that in two months he coulda been like 'oh yea, by the way I found out I have a twelve year old daughter the other day.' Did he think I wouldn't understand? I'm not exactly the blushing virgin over here. Anyways, I knew about it then, and I offered to help. _We'd_ figure it out. Then he started talking about how all of it was so overwhelming, the daughter, and the wedding, and I offered to postpone, but I didn't really mean it and he jumped at the chance! He was _relieved_ he didn't have to marry me right away. I tried to understand, I mean, we postponed setting a date while Rory was off doing her thing, but with Rory it was clear. The _second_ she was back, we were planning. But with April, when is 'things are right with April'? Her graduation? Her removal of braces? When she's married? So the 'postponement' was really a 'cancellation'.

Then, he continued to hide her from me, saying he needed space to figure things out. Again, I got it. He had twelve years to make up. But what I didn't get is why I couldn't meet her when the rest of the town got to know her. Why was I the only one banned from the diner? Was it because I was important to Luke? Not to mention the lack of information about Anna. Did Luke want to get back with Anna because it was the right thing for him to do? Yet another man leaving me for his kid? All I heard about Anna was that Luke trusted her, and I know he doesn't trust many, and that the town thought _she_ was the one, and how in love they were. Which got me thinking - did he even want to be with me? Now that he had this nuclear family, what good was I? But I still stuck around, didn't say anything, tried to be supportive. And then Valentines Day came by, and it was awful. I tried to get away, do something different, and it was horrible. The worst part was when Luke passed off this necklace that Logan was going to give to Rory as his for me. Did he really think that I wouldn't know? That I actually wanted something like that? All I wanted was an I love you, a wedding date, and an official meeting with April. Instead, it felt like I was getting bought off. That's when I really started to doubt. Doubt if he trusted me, doubt if he loved me, doubt if we would ever get married. Then Lanes wedding happened." By now, Lorelai had finished grooming Cletus, and had just begun Desi. She paused a bit here, collecting herself, sniffling a bit from the tears she didn't realize were leaking. The horses snorted, impatient and wanting the soothing voice to continue.

"Yea so you heard about that huh? Everybody heard about that, except Luke. That's going to go down as one of the best drunk speeches in history, let me tell you. But that night, Chris took care of me. He carried me home; made sure I was hydrated, and made sure that I wouldn't drown in my own vomit. He even left when Luke called, knowing what a sore point he was. And Luke never knew. Never knew that I had announced to the whole town that I was never getting married. He never knew. Then, April's party came, and he confirmed what I had been worried about all along. He didn't trust me. He didn't trust me with his daughter; he didn't trust me to help him, not even with a birthday present. And that hurt, that hurt a lot. We were supposed to be partners, and he didn't trust me. That made me start to wonder if I was right about the other things too. Well, it turned out he did need me, and I bailed him out, and got to meet April, and had a blast. She really is a sweet kid. And stupid me thought that everything would be better. I had met April, I could see her again, Luke would lean on me for a change, and we would help each other. Then Anna ripped into him, calling him irresponsible, so I went to go see her to convince her that I wasn't some random axe murderer out to kill her kid. She told me that she didn't want April to get attached to me, because I could be another flash in the pan. It's how she dated, and she asked if I understood. I did, I totally understood where she was coming from. I did the same with Rory. But it also showed me that Luke didn't love me either. She didn't know that I was friends with Luke for eight years before dating him for two. She didn't know that we were a staple in Stars Hollow, almost a universal truth. She didn't know because Luke didn't tell her. Luke didn't tell her, which made me think that Luke didn't love me. He was ashamed of me, of the crazy lady he was with. And that's when I knew for sure. It wasn't going to happen. I was stupid to think that it ever would. I gave Luke everything, and in return, I got nothing.

Right around then, I found myself in a real estate office with my Mother. She was going to buy us a house. Buy me and Luke a house for our wedding. I was shocked. Here was my Mother, who had never approved of anything in my life, who continually said that I was a disappointment, who tried to break Luke and I up a year ago, here she was showing me that she approved. She approved of my choice, she approved on my life, and all I could do was stand there and cry and tell her that it was never going to happen. That's when the second miracle happened. She just stood beside me and comforted me. If I was shocked before, it was nothing compared to what I was feeling then. Even two days later, and Friday night dinner, she showed me _again_ that even if Luke and I didn't work out; she approved and understood my choices. She set Chris up with a psychologist. That was Emily Gilmore's way of telling me that she realized that Chris and I were never meant to be, that she had given up on that dream. I was shocked again. You never know what to expect with my Mother. After dinner, I was boxed in and found myself spilling my pathetic life story to the psychologist. I told her everything – my childhood, getting pregnant at 16, Chris, Max, Chris again, Jason, and Luke. She asked me if I had loved Max, and I told her no. I had never loved anyone until Luke, and it was true, I hadn't. She told me then to go after what I wanted. I replied that I didn't want to push; I didn't want to lose him. She said that it didn't sound like I had him in the first place, and that sometimes things just aren't meant to be, no matter how much we want them to come true. So I got back, and I pushed. I issued this ridiculous ultimatum that I knew Luke would reject, but that wasn't the point. I wanted him to finally see how much I was hurting, how much I wasn't okay. And when I walked away, he didn't come after me. He had _always_ let his actions speak, and that spoke volumes. He wasn't all in anymore, hadn't been in a while. He had given up, I was too much work.

I didn't want to be alone, but I couldn't go to Rory, it was her last night with Logan, and heaven knows I didn't want t interrupt _that._ And I couldn't go to Sookie's, I had already overstayed my welcome, and I couldn't deal with seeing her with her husband and her kids. She got it, why couldn't I? So I went to see Chris. He took care of me after Lane's wedding; I thought he was a friend. Everybody has ulterior motives. At first, he let me talk, he let me cry, and then he tried to 'comfort' me. I didn't stop him; it was nice to feel wanted, to feel loved again. But I knew it was wrong, and I hate myself for it. I ended things with him, told him that the only time we would see each other was at a Rory based event, if he felt the need to actually attend something. I cut him out for good, _finally,_ and it felt great. Luke, however, was hard. When I told him what I had done, he was shocked, and understandably so. He didn't want me anymore. Heck, I wouldn't have wanted me anymore. I'm a horrible person, hurting those I love just because they hurt me first, although I didn't intend for it to be that way. He walked away, and I knew I deserved it. The town found out somehow, and have since been treating me like I have a scarlet S painted on me. Sookie and Rory look at me with this look of disappointment, pain, and anger, and finally I couldn't take it anymore. So I went away last weekend, to the Cheshire Cat. You guys remember that place? The one with the multiplying flowers on the walls? Yea, well this time I brought food, and I figured it out. I started a new chapter in my life today – Content to Be Alone. My parents had always said that I was too much work to love, too much of a disappointment, and I had always hoped that they were wrong, but it turns out that they were right. I deserve to be alone, so I should at least accept it. And who knows – now that I'm not Luke's fiancé, or Luke's friend, or really anybody important except the Town Whore, maybe I'll get to have a relationship with April. Play games with her like Lane does, or help her with her homework like Babette does. And, Kirk won't have to cross-dress for the re-enactment anymore, they can just typecast." Desi turned her head and nuzzled Lorelai's wet cheek, trying to make her feel better.

"Oh, don't worry guys, I'll be fine. Rory is lighting the world on fire, and I have my inn, you guys, and Paul Anka. That's all I need. I'll be okay." She sniffled, and hugged both horses. She gave herself a moment, and then brushed the hurt aside to continue her chat with the two lovely beasts.

"So that's me. What's new with you? What? Cletus beat you _again_? Desi how many times have I told you to lay off the oats? ..." As she prattled on, Sookie and Luke looked at each other, tears streaming down Sookie's face, both wearing an identical melancholy smile. Without a word, they turned and exited the barn, unnoticed by Lorelai, and went in opposite directions to their domains. Sookie to her kitchen, and Luke to his diner, each filled with identical thoughts of sorrow for their friend.

**A/N**: I realize that was a lot of recap, but somebody had to get through that thick skull of Luke's. Next chapter (if y'all want one) not so much recap, I promise.

tbc?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**A/N:** Being from the Great White North, I had to do some research for this one. I learned that Mallomars are like Puffs and Red Vines are like Twizzlers. I couldn't find however, the equivalent of LA in Jr. High. So, English in High School (Gr. 10-12) is the equivalent to LA (Language Arts) in Jr. High (Gr. 7-9). You learn something new everyday. On with the story!

In the weeks and months that followed, not much changed for the residents of Stars Hollow. Lorelai came up with a new rule for her new life philosophy: Rule Number 2 – I will _not_ become a Fat Crazy Couch Potato Spinster Lady. This rule encompassed many things, like how she refused to learn how to knit tea cozies and darn socks. If her socks were holy, she'd just wear them on Sunday. She also decided that being a Crazy Couch Potato Spinster Lady was a great life ambition, but it'd really suck if she was 300lbs. So, she started to regulate what she ate. Like, instead of one box of Mallomars, she'd eat half a box. And for movie nights (admittedly every night) instead of Italian _and_ Chinese, she'd just go for one or the other. Ever since Marco Polo stole the noodles from the Chinese and the Italians surpassed the masters, the two countries weren't really that friendly anyway. Her days were much the same: Luke's, work, talk to Rory sometimes. Eventually, the other diners in the diner continued their conversations when she came in, although she did notice that they decreased in volume substantially, and her name was frequently mentioned. However, Rule Number 1 applied, and she kept going. If she really needed to talk to somebody, she talked to the horses; they always knew how to comfort her. One morning at breakfast as she was ignoring everybody else, she came to the realization that if before her life was like Sour Puss and a Jell-O Shot, now it was a glass of white wine. Not the center of attention or the life of the party, but rather unobtrusive, unassuming, content to hide in the background and be a wallflower. She also idly wondered if Mrs. Town Loner would let Town Loner Guy out of their cave in the hills every once in a while, and if he drank beer.

Sookie, for her part, continued to watch over Lorelai. She subtly made sure Lorelai knew that she was available to talk to or vent to if the need arose, but so far the need hadn't arisen. She also made sure that there was always extra food floating around in the kitchen, and that Lorelai was pilfering some. She didn't want her best friend to waste away while she was like this, and so she did what she did best and cook. Once, she caught Lorelai shaking her head with this self-amused grin on her face as she saw the extra plate of food that a customer just _happened_ to turn back untouched, so she figured that Lorelai knew what she was doing, and was humoring her. She didn't mind – as long as Lorelai was eating, she was fine being humored.

As for Luke, he woke up. He started to pay attention to the town gossip, and after the first day anxiously watched Lorelai for any signs that she knew what they were talking about. She seemed oblivious, and for that he was thankful. It amazed him what the town would say about their fallen Queen. He learned from Kirk that in an act of solidarity, Kirk stopped ordering Red Vines, but that plan backfired because Lorelai wasn't eating them anymore. As she was the sole consumer of the Red Vines in Stars Hollow (well, her and Rory) he now had 5 boxes that were over six months old, and stale beyond belief. Luke wondered how an item for consumption made entirely of petroleum by-product could go stale, but he didn't want to open that can of worms with Kirk.

He learned from Taylor at a town meeting that the Dragonfly had been voted one of the top 10 inns in Connecticut again, and that guests of the Dragonfly were responsible for generating over 75 of the town's tourism revenue in the last fiscal year. He went to the town meetings in the hopes of seeing her, but she never went. (Lorelai had actually struck a compromise on this one. Not going to the town meetings was a direct violation of Rule Number 1, but being locked in a room full of people who hated her with Taylor at the helm seemed somewhat sadistic, and she was never a glutton for punishment. So she didn't go, reassuring herself that walking through town was enough.)

He learned from Babette that Lorelai had no social life to speak of, leaving the house only to go to work. Although she did mention that sometimes the Town Loner Guy would show up on Lorelai's porch and they would sit together and drink a beer in compatible silence.

He learned from Sookie that Lorelai seemed fine, but different from before. She reported that the only topics of conversation allowed were Rory, the inn, and Sookie. If she broached any other subject, the conversation immediately stopped and Lorelai had something else to do. After a while, he noticed that Lorelai had lost some weight, so he asked Sookie if she was eating, and she smiled sadly and said that her extras were always pilfered.

He learned from Lane that after successfully completing the maximum course load for the summer at Yale, Rory went to London for a month to visit Logan. He also learned that Rory had just been awarded an award for Excellence for being the Editor of the Yale Daily News.

He learned from April that Lorelai was funny, sweet, and smart, and one of the best Candyland Battleship: War Never Tasted So Good players that she had ever met. She also added that Lorelai reminded her of a Shakespeare character, one who had been dealt her cards in life, played them to the best of her ability, and was waiting for the tragic end. He really didn't pay much attention to that one, as he knew that April was reading _Hamlet_ at the time to try and get ahead in L.A. But seeing Lorelai the next day did make him wonder if she was right. Everyday he watched her enter the diner, watched how she was treated, watched her order one cup of coffee and a doughnut or muffin, watched her eat in silence, and watched her leave five minutes after she came in. Never in their extended history had her diner visits been so short, and never had he appreciated more the length of her old diner visits or her incessant chatter. He was waiting, waiting for the time that he could say his piece and she would sit still long enough to really listen. He was waiting for her guard to be down, waiting for her to step out from her self-imposed isolation (although he couldn't blame her). So he composed what he was going to say in his head, and practiced all day, waiting, always waiting.

Finally, just before Thanksgiving (A/N - Or Grey Cup weekend, depending on what side of the boarder your on ;)), as he was performing his nightly closing routine, he looked out the window and smiled. Here was his chance. The first snow of the year. He _knew_ that she would be out for her walk in the snow, knew that her guard would be down. He grabbed a to-go cup of coffee and a doughnut and continued his routine, knowing that she would be coming around eventually.

Sure enough, thirty minutes later he spotted a solitary figure approach the town square from the direction of the Dragonfly. She walked around the town square slowly, finally stopping near the Gazebo, lying down on the ground and staring at the sky. He grabbed his peace offerings, and locked up, briskly walking across the street, slowing down and then sitting next to her. Still unaware that she had company, Luke gently cleared his throat to announce his presence. She flew up into a sitting position, wildly looking around for the person that had disturbed her. Eyes growing wide when she saw him, she quickly moved to stand up and run away.

"No, don't go! Here. I brought you this." Luke softly stated, trying to thwart the inevitable, and handed her the coffee and doughnut. She looked down at what he was offering, and slowly reached out and grabbed the cup and bag.

"Thanks." She whispered. Still clearly uncomfortable, Luke tried to calm her down some more.

"Just, pretend I'm not here. Go back to your contemplations." He then lay down in the exact same position that she was in before, staring straight at the sky with hand folded across his stomach. Having an internal debate with herself, she realized that this confrontation was inevitable, and if she ran away now she would just be prolonging the experience. With a slight sigh, she set the peace offerings on the ground on the side away from him, and resumed her original position, and her thoughts.

Slowly, she blocked out the sound of another human's breathing pattern, and instead began to contemplate the designs that the snow was making from this angle. Looking at the snow like this, she was reminded how small she was in the universe, how inconsequential her life was and thus her problems. She felt weightless, free, and wonderful. For the first time since May, she wasn't aware that she was a colossal screw up, wasn't aware that she was now Alone. She just existed, just was. She also wondered if George Lucas ever did this, because the snow looked exactly like the stars did when they moved into warp speed. Eventually, she stopped thinking altogether, and just watched the snow. She became aware again of her company when she heard Luke take a nervous breath and a preemptory 'soo….' She knew that tone, she had heard it once before after their break up the first time, when he was explaining his side of things, and decided to pay attention.

Hoping that he had gotten her attention, Luke began version 85D of the practiced speech, adlibbing as necessary, hoping that this version was the best, because it was the last version and his time was now.

"I have this friend. I've known her forever, and the first time we met, I knew that she would be important. I had no family, and my girlfriend had just left again looking for bigger and better things, and so I was alone and miserable. Then this woman walks in, and I knew she was different. For two years she called me 'Duke', and I couldn't figure out if it was because she didn't know my name, thus making her stupid because it was pasted on the big coffee cup outside, or if she was just bugging me. Finally, two years later, after she and her daughter ordered their breakfasts, I told her 'My name is _Luke_'. And she just smiled at me, this amazing smile that I had never seen before that made me weak at the knees, still does in fact, and replied 'I know. I was just wondering how long it would take for you to wake up.' Nobody had cared for me like that in years. After that, we became friends, then best friends, and then the definition became hazy, because I was in love with her, but I didn't know how she felt. I didn't want to change anything, lose the friendship that meant more to me than anything ever had before, so I waited. I waited through boyfriends, and engagements, and accidents, and a poorly timed cruise, and ill-advised decisions on said cruise, and finally I couldn't take it anymore. I found the courage, and I kissed her. I kissed my best friend in the whole world. And she kissed me back." He paused here, and turned his head to see if she was actually listening, or if he was just wasting his breath. She was still staring straight ahead, to all appearances not paying attention, and he was about to sigh with frustration when he noticed something glinting in the streetlamps. Her cheeks had tear tracks on them, crystal paths that trailed down her cheeks, into her hair, and on the ground where they froze in a puddle. He was now frustrated that he didn't have the right anymore to pull her into his arms and make the pain go away; he knew that this had to be said in order for things to get better. Turning back, he continued with his story.

"After that, after I kissed her and she kissed me back, it was better than I had ever imagined. (How sad was it that he could still her joyful voice echo 'Dirty!' in his head? When was the last time she had done that?) We fit, we belonged together. She was it for me, I was it for her. Sure, we both screwed up, and were apart for a horrible month, but that just made us stronger in the long run. And then she proposed. I was over the moon. Never did I think all those years ago that I would be engaged to my best friend. And I could tell, despite the fact that her daughter was going through a phase, that she was happy. Happier than I had ever seen her. And then I found out that I too had a daughter. I didn't know for twelve years. I found out from the kid's science fair project, and the worst part was that my daughter didn't seem to care. She didn't want me in her life; her life was just fine thank you very much. I found out the _day_ that my best friend's daughter came back, the day that she truly was the picture of happiness. I couldn't take that away from her, and besides, if I told her, it would be real. It would be real that I had a daughter, that my first kid wouldn't be hers. So I didn't tell her, and eventually it became easier not to tell her.

Then, seeing her daughter's father _finally_ step up to the plate, I wanted to do the same with April. The second day that we did something together was the day my best friend found out. I'll never forget the look on her face, the look of pain, disappointment, and resignation. I could tell that she thought that it was too good to be true, that she didn't deserve to be that happy, and it killed me. But even after that, I made it worse. I shut everything out except my daughter, even my fiancé, my best friend. I don't do well with change, I shut everything out, and I never really knew how much that hurt the people around me. I saw the looks, the sadness hidden in her eyes all those months, but I ignored it. I wanted everything to work out so badly; I ignored my best friend's pain. I had never done that before, even when I was married and she was with someone else. Never. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She blew up, issued this ultimatum after she had been avoiding me for a week, and expected me to go along with it. But I couldn't, I was frozen. It was like the blinders were finally cast off, I could see her. All the pain, the sadness that was embedded in her face, her eyes, her stance, I caused that. I hurt her so bad, she doubted me, she doubted _us._ I never meant for that to happen. Before I knew it, she had walked away, and I was left listening to some girl sing about her disappearing world. The next day, when she told me where she went, what she did, I tried to be shocked, I tried to be angry, but I couldn't. I knew it was my fault. I knew that I caused it, that I was why she was hurting so much. Then she disappeared, cut herself off from the town completely. She came back recently, sort of, without the sparkle and the joy for life, and I have been waiting. Waiting the whole time to tell her something that I should have told her everyday since we were together." Now her turned on his side, and gently grasped Lorelai's hands in his own. Giving a gentle squeeze, he waited until she too turned her head and looked into his eyes. The memory of her look That Night had faded somewhat with time, but this brought it all crashing back. With icicle tears dripping down her cheek, off her nose, the sadness in her eyes was enough to bring tears in his own. Squeezing her hands again, he began the most important part.

"Lorelai, you are a smart, funny, brilliant, witty, amazing human being, beautiful inside and out. You are a spectacular Mom, and an amazing best friend. You are kind and generous, and should never think otherwise. I am _so_ sorry, so sorry I made you think that you are less than you are. Nobody should ever do that, nobody. I am so sorry that I shut you out, handled this in the absolute worst way possible. So sorry that you doubted us, doubted everything. Sorry that your rock failed you. And I want us to be friends, to be lovers, to be husband and wife eventually, whenever you're ready. I love you, Lorelai. I always have really, and I always will. I love you for you, for your coffee addiction, for your atrocious eating habits, and for your personality. I love all of you, emotional baggage and all. And I need you. I need your support, your humor, you telling me to cut it out, you giving me a kick in the pants when I need it, your shoulder, and your presence. I need you. You have to understand that I don't love you because I need you, but I need you because I love you." He stopped, finished. The monosyllabic man in him was crying at the travesty, and the macho man in him was calling him a pussy. But it was true, all of it. He held his breath, waiting. Again, waiting for her, for her response that he didn't even dare to hope would be positive. Finally, after what felt like forever, he felt a gentle squeeze of his hands, and heard the whispered words

"I love you too." He felt, rather than saw, both of them leaning in, touching their lips for the first time in forever. Thy had had many amazing kisses in the past, the most notable on the porch of the Dragonfly, on the porch of her house, and in the Gazebo that they were lying next to, but this one surpassed them all. It was a kiss of apologies, of forgiveness, of acceptance, of love. It was a kiss that said everything that they couldn't say in words, everything that they both knew but needed confirmation of. It was a kiss that went a long way towards healing the hurt between them, almost finishing the job that his words had started. Oh yes, Buttercup and Weasly had _nothing _on them. When they finally broke apart, both had identical shy grins on their faces. Grinning at each other, they lay there, relieved that they could fix it. Tugging at his hands, she stood up.

"C'mon. Let's go home." And off they went, coffee and doughnut abandoned on the ground, off towards her home that soon would be his, proving once again that snow was magical indeed.

**A/N: **Men like this don't exist. We can only dream. I'm a sucker for sappy endings. I hope you enjoyed it. Feel free to comment.

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